I see so many of my friends giving themselves to people who don’t deserve any share of such beauty, and it pains me. It makes me sick.
There is a difference. A difference between a boy, and a man.
A boy gets infatuated with you, and wants to bypass the foundations of friendship- straight to the point of passion, romance, and commitment.
A man knows the importance of the effort that needs to go Into that building process. He knows that the initial work to build that friendship will be what Sustains the relationship when limerence is no where to be seen.
A boy wants to possess every part you. He wants every second of your time, space and energy. He wants to crawl into the spaces of your mind that you have, with bold fond marked “work in progress, do not enter until ready”. A man takes what you choose to share with him, and respects the room you need to grow and blossom into someone who can inspire, challenge, make him see the world through unconventional ways. And to do that, you need time to be alone. To dream, create, explore, discover. And when you are filled with light only then can you shine what you have taken in on his life. Invasion does not equal love.
A boy makes you feel as though, you owe him some part of your body because of the feelings you share with him. The words you exchange. Because he bought you dinner for the past 18 dates. He feels like he is entitled to hold you in ways you Know you are not ready for. I know so many girls who have sex with the person they are in a relationship with, not because they want to, but because they felt obligated to. They felt like that’s what they owed the someone who signified the part of them that they could not find within them self.
A man loves you in a way that transcends the physical. Your body is not his playground, and he keeps a safe distance, reminding you that “our love needs no transaction”. You can feel his heartbeat from across the room, and even if your fingers never touch, his actions are enough to have you know that you are not alone. Your body is a temple, and He will Not violate that which is sacred.
A boy makes you feel insure. He digs at the wounds that you have been trying, so long to heal. He strategically strings together words that make you want to hold on to him till your knuckles bleed, for fear you may lose him to another.
A man makes a commitment to himself never to let you feel like you are second best. Your body is not a prerequisite. Bloody knuckles are something you will never have to have. You can be apart, and Know that he is working on parts of him that will bring light, life, and joy the next time you meet. He uses time apart, to craft himself into the very person who will Inspire you to be a better human being.
There are so many things that separate a boy, from a man. You just need to start looking at what is important.